she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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