She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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