i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
