i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
