party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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