Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
