people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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