Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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