I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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