i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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