I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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