There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
