I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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