Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
