It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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