I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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