At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
