I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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