Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
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She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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