So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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