it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
