We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He told me they were just razor bumps!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
