Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
