you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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