i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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