that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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