I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
