But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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