dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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