part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
