i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
