K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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