Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
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i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
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Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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