You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
