I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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