Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
