When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
