so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
