My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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