Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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