I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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