Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
