I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
