my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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