I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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