i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
