good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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