Bisexual people are plain selfish.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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