I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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