i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
