too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
