I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
