That's intense
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
