i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
