Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize