summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
