Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
