i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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