At least make sure they are 18
Why
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
